Who Am I? (To Talk About God?)

Since I’m no longer ordained, I can’t wear a stole (that’s the decorative band that goes over the shoulders), but I can’t seem to give up this one, gifted to me as an intern from a woman with BIG questions about and for the church.

Previous post here.

(Hey, if you prefer to “read” through your ears, check out the voiceover for this post!)

I thought y’all might want to know a little of my background. Here we go. Shortened version.

I was christened in a Methodist church but did not grow up regularly attending church. We were “C&E” people — Christmas and Easter — and in later years not even that. We moved around a lot (by the time I was 10 years old I’d lived in 7 different US states and 2 other countries) so there was really no “home church” anyway.

Early on, though, I had a couple of fairly mystical experiences that tuned me in to something I felt drawn to that later I came to call Presence.

That attraction, that draw has never gone away.

Anyway, let’s fast forward through some years of profound loss and grief to me as a married thirty-something-year-old mom of two, trying to make sense of things that cannot ever make sense. I join a church. I engage in a serious 2-year Bible study and at the end feel as if I’ve only begun to scratch the surface. My pastor suggests I check out seminary. And away we go.

I entered Trinity Lutheran Seminary in Bexley, Ohio in the fall of 1986 and fell headlong in love with my studies. In particular, Hebrew and Greek floated my boat, because I love language in general and learning new languages in particular, and (huge nerd alert) theology classes got me super-excited.

My 3rd or 4th year, I received an award in Biblical studies because our NT professor said I often looked at and interpreted the texts in a unique and refreshing way. (Thank you!) And one of my mentors urged me to consider graduate work in systematics, since at the time there were not many women teaching in the discipline. I was more strongly drawn to parish ministry, though, and served 3 congregations during my 14 years as a Lutheran pastor.

Anyway, wherever you are, Dr. Bouman, I’m still at it, just not in the way either of us would have expected.

I point to people like the theologian Paul Tillich and Franciscan father Richard Rohr and feminist theologian Sallie McFague as influences. There are a bunch of other folks, too, who I’ll refer to over the course of our time together, but for now you get an idea of where, in part, I’m coming from. In a way, I started from “outside” and am back “outside” again. Maybe, for me, the view is clearer from here?

If you’re interested in my drift away from the church and my faith, follow this link to my May, 2021 HuffPost Personal essay.

For paying subscribers, The Treehouse: Conversations About God launches Sunday, January 14th. As always, I welcome your questions and comments.

Wishing Merry Christmas to those who celebrate and sending holiday greetings to all!

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